Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
