I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
