i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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