I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
We are two peas in an std pod
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
