Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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