Pappa wants mamma naked
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
