Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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