Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
