your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
