Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize