I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize