We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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