a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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