where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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