I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
