would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
