Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Operation Purity has been aborted
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
