dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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