Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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