he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
