google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
