The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
