i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
