you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
