Your tits are I can't wait for
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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