that's an acceptable place to lick
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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