Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
