I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
