I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
