I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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