So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize