I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
NoShamevember. You game?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
