onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
