from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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