oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
