Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
