you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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