We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
