you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
