How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
