He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
