i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
