I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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