Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

he breathalyzed me before we had sex.

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(518): View more from New York

i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting

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(954): View more from Florida

We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.

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(613): View more from Ontario

Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.

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(937): View more from Ohio

Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.

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(803): View more from South Carolina

She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.

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(512): View more from Texas

studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.

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(801): View more from Utah

The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.

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