Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
