Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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