i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
