I only kidnapped one of them. chill
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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