you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
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