I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I checked into jail on foursquare
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize