You're completely useless in the revolution.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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