So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
