smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Randomize
