You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
