I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Randomize
