sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Randomize
