no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Did I show you my penis last night?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
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